The Secret to Having It All

The Secret to Having It All

Invest In Your Life Podcast

Episode 23: The Secret to Having It All.

With everything that's out there to be experienced, do you ever feel that life is passing you by? Do you have a dream that seems impossible because of the obligations in your life? In this week's episode, I talk about "having it all" and the counter-intuitive way you can achieve happiness and purpose.

Full Episode Transcription

00:04  Welcome to the Invest In Your Life Podcast, the show where we explore the connection between personal growth and personal finance. My name is Patrick King and in each episode we'll talk about what you can do to live a life that's truly rich. Don't take this the wrong way, but I am not giving you advice. I only give advice to clients who have hired me to be their fiduciary financial advisor. If you're not one of those folks, then just consider this to be helpful tips and information and be sure to consult with your financial advisor, your attorney, your CPA, your which doctor or your mom before you try this at home.

01:01  Welcome to the show everybody. Thanks for being here with me today. I’ve got a great show for you today. Today we're going to talk about the secret of having it all. Can you have it all? But first I want to let you know about The No Bullshit Guide to Investing. I'm often approached by a ton of folks who, you know, are often younger folks who are just getting started and are confused about how the heck do you get started with your investments. And you know, maybe you're not at a point where you're ready to hire a fiduciary financial advisor like myself. So I created The No Bullshit Guide to Investing online course. So go check it out. I lay out the fundamentals of investing and give you some examples of what it would look like to put this into play. I even go into the details around how to buy and sell mutual funds and ETFs, how to open an account, you know, the annoying stuff that can trip you up sometimes.

02:01  So, that's included as well. There's hours of video content and support files to help you set up an investment strategy for the long term. And for, for a limited time, I'm giving away for free to my podcast listeners. All you have to do is give me your feedback on the course and tell two people about the podcast. That's all ask. So, when you go check out in the resources section of my website, it's there. If you get to checkout, enter the Promo code, TELL2, and you'll get that online course for free. And I hope you enjoy it. Thanks so much. And let's get started with this show.

02:57  Okay, my gratitude. I've got a lot to be grateful for. Guess what? I'm going to be an uncle. I just heard this last weekend. They haven't announced that yet, but by the time this podcast actually gets released, it will be public knowledge. My younger sister and her husband, I just found out that they're, I guess they found out a long time ago. They were just waiting to see me face-to-face before I found out. So, I found out recently I'm going to be an uncle and I can't be more excited. I'm super, super excited. I know the fertility doctor and the IVF doctors told them that they didn't have a whole lot of a chance of getting pregnant on their own. But guess what? It happened and I'm like, I'm super, super psyched. So, I've got a lot to be grateful for. Les and Kelby, I’m excited to be “Funcle” Pat, the fun uncle and we're going to have a lot of fun. Um, at least I am. Y'all are going to be changing a lot of diapers and losing sleep at first. So, I get to swoop in and be fun. That’s my gratitude for today.

04:13  All right, the topic of the day today, what is the secret to having it all in life? This episode is inspired by a Mark Manson blog post called No, You Can’t Have It All. And if you haven't heard of Mark Manson, go check him out. Just Google Mark Manson and you'll find his website. Be warned. He is a little foul mouthed. I appreciate that. Some may not find it entertaining, however. So, yeah, what does having it all really mean to you? You know, if having it all means that you've got all the money in the world. You've got six pack abs, you've got a loving, connected, hot relationship to your spouse. You have meaningful conversations and you're showing up in your children's and families and friends lives. You’ve got plenty of time and money for travel. You’ve got the big house, the fancy car, the country club membership, all this stuff.

05:17  If that's your idea, having it all, you know, that's going to be a tough one. But if your idea, like my friend Matthew Bivens of having it all – for him, if you haven't checked out, Matthew Bivens, his podcast, by the way, it's called Having It A.L.L. The A.L.L. stands for “Abundant, Loving Life”. If your idea of having it all means having an abundant, loving life, guess what? You may be on to something. So, let's get into that a little bit. What is the secret? What's the secret to having it all in life? You know, we all have our own version of the economic concept of opportunity cost when it comes to what we can focus on in our lives. If we focus our time and energy and attention on one particular thing, that means we're not spending that time, energy and attention focusing on other things as well.

06:17  So, if you are spending a lot of time focusing on your career, it's less time that you could be focusing on your relationships or your health or your hobbies or whatever it ends up being. A hundred years ago this wasn't that big of an issue because first of all, there was a little bit more focus on just surviving. And people also just didn't even know all of the options that existed out there. You know – all the fancy places to travel that you see on Instagram, people barely even knew they existed, right? They didn't even know what was that like one town over in a lot of cases. So the fact that we have this issue of trying to have it all and trying to experience all that life has the offer is a luxury. So let's have a little gratitude for that.

07:13  Because we do know everything that's available to us these days, it becomes increasingly impossible simply because we don't have enough time to experience all of those things, you know? So, what's the secret here? You know, I think the secret to having it all in life, and a little nod to Matthew there, is focusing on the maybe two or three things that you want more than anything else in life. And I've talked about this before. It's about finding those missions and that purpose, the higher purpose, in your life. You know, purpose can be a pretty heavy word. I don’t throw that one around lightly and try not to use it a whole lot because you know, if you use purpose, there can be some pressure around that too. At least I find for myself, I don't want to sit here and say, my purpose in this life is X because I know the missions that I want to accomplish and I don't want all the heaviness of trying to have this big overarching purpose that I may or may not achieve.

08:31  Right? So, let's take the pressure off and let's get into action a little bit more. Instead of navel-gazing around purpose, let's just start moving. Let's start doing stuff that we're called to do or that we want to do what you're excited to do. So, you know, if you strip it all down, what are those two or three things in life that if you left them undone, on your deathbed, you would regret not having done? What are those two or three things? You know, this was my first podcast episode, The Ceiling Tile Test. If you're sitting in that hospital room staring at the ceiling tiles on your death bed, and you think about those two or three things that you didn't do and you would have had some regrets, what are those things? And let's get to it. Life's too short to let money get in the way or let what you think our responsibilities or these obligations that you've taken on yourself, which may not actually be true get in the way of experiencing those important things in life.

                                    So, pick those two or three things and then let everything else go. So, ironically, by letting go, you can really get a deeper, richer life with less. And I think that's really the key to “having it all”, right? It's what I talk about in the past where the Latin root of the word “decide” means “to cut away”. So, when you decide to pursue something that you're passionate about, you cut away those other things. And in this day of social media and FOMO, where you get everyone's highlight reels about the amazing things that they're doing on their vacations in their life, the fancy cars, all that stuff, it could be easy to get caught up in the idea that we can really have all of that stuff at once. You know, maybe it is possible, but I think if you focus on those two or three things and let everything else shake out, man, I think your odds of actually having it all go away up.

10:45  So again, deciding to cut away the stuff that's not important is the way to have that rich life, to have it all so to speak. So, it's less about what you choose and more about what you cut away. And one last thing I want to mention is that when you let something go, it gives you room to take up those passion projects. If you feel like you're overwhelmed, you've already got too much going on in your life, maybe it's time to let something go so you can pick up that passion again and start running with it. That's the topic of the day. That's, that's what I think the secret is to have it all in this life. All right. Thanks for listening. Let's get on with the next section.

11:41  All right. My Pura Vida this week is more of like “dolce vita” because we're going to Italy, folks! Annelle and l and I were sitting around and we were talking, we've built these businesses that give us time and flexibility and freedom to work from anywhere in the world. So, why the heck aren’t we? So, we found some cheap flights to Italy and we're going in October. We don't quite know the itinerary quite yet, but I'm super, super excited. I've never been to Italy and if you know me, you know I love history. So, I'm stoked about going to Rome. And then we haven't quite decided where else yet. Probably spend a few days in the Amalfi Coast and then possibly Tuscany as well. So, we are going to be eating good. Evidently October is when they have all their food festivals and mushrooms are in season. I am excited. So dolce vita this week! Super excited to be going to Italy. That's Pura Vida.

12:48  All right folks, that's it for the podcast today. Thank you so much for tuning in. I appreciate you being here. If you've got questions or if there's something that you want to hear more of, shoot me an email, Check out the website, Go to the resources section and look for The No Bullshit Guide to Investing. Again, the Promo code to get that for free for podcast listeners is TELL2. Check it out and let me know what you think. So, thanks again for being here and until next week, cheers. Thank you for joining me today to find out more and get access to my free financial resources visit The thoughts and opinions expressed here are my own and or for general information only. They are not intended to be recommendations or specific advice for anybody. I'm not a doctor or a licensed therapist, so please consult with your healthcare provider if you have any issues regarding your physical or mental health. Any investment performance. This referenced here is historical and of course has no guarantee of future results. Last, but not least, the Easter bunny isn't real.

Comfort or Growth?

Comfort or Growth?

Ep. 22: Balancing Passion and Responsibility with Mike Kelly

Ep. 22: Balancing Passion and Responsibility with Mike Kelly